Altrincham to build wall to keep out Wythenshawe

Building the Wythenshawe wall

Trafford Council have announced plans to build a ‘great wall’ to keep out Wythenshawe after they voted to leave Manchester. What’s more, they are going to make them pay for it.

As reported in respected publication Wythenshawe Whispers, Wythenshawe has voted unanimously to leave Manchester and council chiefs have reacted quickly to the expected surge of cross border migrants arriving in Altrincham looking for food, running water and jobs.

The council, along with their reptilian neighbours at Manchester Council, have announced that plans are afoot to build a gigantic wall along the borders with Wythenshawe and they are demanding that they pay for it themselves.

Local Councillor, Lord Cunty, said, “It is with a heavy heart we watch Wythenshawe make moves to leave Manchester, but the people have spoken and we must respect democracy.  That being said, you can’t get off your cake and eat it either. In partnership with our friends at Manchester Council we plan to build the biggest, thickest, most amazing wall the world has ever seen. It will be the most impressive structure built in Manchester for decades and they will be paying for it. No more working in our pound shops and chippys, no more hanging around the reduced section in our supermarkets, and no more standing outside our pubs to use the free WIFI. Independence means independence”.

Taylor Tompkinson

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

2 thoughts on “Altrincham to build wall to keep out Wythenshawe

  1. We don’t want your jobs!
    We will however have some of your budget to have better benefits for all future aspiring layabouts, this will enable them resources such as “the fastest virgin WiFi” which we can use to give you alty lot sh*t for abit and advertise our mixtapes.
    As for the wall… We will Rob all resources that aren’t nailed down before it’s built, then sell it all back to you…or Stockport… Who ever offers the most marijuana really.
    We ask that you respect these wishes and take “the pigs” with you, that police station on simonsway would make a much better pub where it’s based. Also we would be saving more budget for new TN’s, I’ve not had a new pair in 3week!
    While we are here, check out my new tack.
    Fresh-Cut Brap!

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