Andy Burnham to replace Greater Manchester with Burnhamshire

Andy Burnham Mayor of Manchester

Mayor of Manchester, Andy Burnham, is to replace the county name of Greater Manchester with Burnhamshire, in recognition of his many achievements.

Hater of VAR, Andy Burnham, is set to replace the county name of Greater Manchester with Burnhamshire to ensure all the jobs he’s started but not bothered to finish are shown the very highest of recognition.

The part-time helper of the homeless recently downed tools on Manchester’s rough sleeping epidemic to vent his fury on the Premier League’s Video Assistant Referee (VAR), for reasons completely unknown to those of sound mind.

Andy Burnham wants own personal kingdom

As with most things the Mayor sets outs to conquer, the novelty of chasing down Premier League bosses for things that don’t concern him has already worn off, and he has now set his sights on making Greater Manchester his own personal kingdom instead.

A source close to the Mayor said, “He’s confident he’s quite easily the greatest human-being who ever did walk the earth, and feels being made ruler absolute of his own county is the very least we can do for him.

“Don’t forget, this is the man who attempted to end rough sleeping on Manchester’s streets for almost 4 days. His achievements and unwavering endeavour to doing absolutely naff-all as Mayor are remarkable. You will never find anyone more committed to doing half a job than Mr Burnham.”

Mike Oxlong

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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