Boris Johnson’s arse resigns, following appointment of his mouth to Number One shit exit

Boris Johnson’s arsehole sensationally handed in its notice yesterday, following a controversial decision by the Prime Minister to appoint his mouth as Number One shit exit going forward.

Quitting on the spot, Mr Johnson’s arse flew into an explosive tirade following the latest Governement Covid-19 briefing, where shit continued to spew out of his trap at several miles per hour.

A source close to the Prime Minister’s arsehole said,

“His arsehole has had enough and, quite frankly, you can understand why. When your primary function in life is to disperse shit, it can be very disconcerting to see shit flying out of the Prime Minister’s mouth at such a monumental rate instead.

“His arse has every right to be jealous of the shit that comes out of his mouth, and has done the right thing in resigning in my opinion.”

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