Could you be starring in new TV show The Real Housewives of Trafford?

Real Housewives of Trafford

Are you thick as pig shit? Defunct of the slightest trace of talent? Only claim to fame is spending your rich husbands money? ITV2 needs YOU! The Real Housewives of Trafford are coming.

ITV2 are on the  look out for half brained fuck-wits to star in it’s brand new dramality show, The Real Housewives of Trafford.

Successful applicants will be void of any meaningful personality traits and show a distinct lack of understanding for anything involving real life problems.

Money, tits and teeth most important

Producers of The Real Housewives of Trafford have a clear vision of the type of cretin they’d like to apply to take part in the audition process

Our source said, “We’re not looking for particularly interesting or intelligent people. We’d prefer an obnoxious, fame-hungry twat we can manipulate into highly charged, erratic arguments for our entertainment pleasure.

“The ideal candidate would have a rich husband, porcelain teeth hanging out to dry, and ridiculous space hopper titties. An overwhelming stench of desperation is also desirable. The rest we can prep you for.”

You can apply by heading over to the ITV website.


Mike Oxlong

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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