Cycling Union of Northern Travel Seekers set to relocate its HQ to Altrincham

Cycling Union of Northern Travel Seekers

The Cycling Union of Northern Travel Seekers are making plans to move their headquarters to Altrincham, following a surge in membership recruitment throughout Manchester in 2019.

The Cycling Union of Northern Travel Seekers have seen a massive upturn in membership since 2019, with almost double the amount of CUNTS on the road compared to this time last year.

Some CUNTS say it is to be more active, others simply to cut down on travel costs, but it is safe to say drivers are not a fan of the CUNTS at all.

CUNTS set to spark even more travel chaos for motorists

One furious motorist complained cyclists are a danger to themselves and others around them, slowing down traffic and making punctuality at work increasingly difficult.

Justin Thyme said,  “If you ask me there are already far too many CUNTS on the road as it is, without bringing their headquarters here to make more of them.

“There are literally CUNTS all over the place now, I’m just about getting to work by the skin of my teeth daily. You can’t move for them swaying about in front of you dicing with death. I’d love to meet whoever gave this the go ahead.”

Whichever side you fall on, I think it’s safe to say we’re set to see a lot more CUNTS on the road in Manchester.


Mike Oxlong

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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