Dads warned to remain vigilant in family heating wars as temperature drops

Dads face heating wars

Dads around the UK are being urged to remain vigilant in the battle with frivolous members of the family, as heating wars break out following a drop in temperature.

As autumn kicks in and temperatures drop, UK dads are being warned to remain vigilant in the battle with their careless families who insist on cranking up the heating instead of putting on a jumper.

The cost of heating the family home is paramount in the thoughts of every dad, and winter brings issues of colossal proportions with other family members flaunting the rules whenever their backs are turned.

Altrincham dad has a strict heating wars system

Lee Vitof, a dad of four from Altrincham, has been explaining his strict system when it comes to dispensing heating.

“We have a  three point check system before I permit any heating to leave my wallet. I find it’s a simple way to make sure everyone is aware of the household requirements before so much as getting within spitting distance of the thermostat.

“Are you wearing socks and a jumper? If the answer is no to any of these garments – No heating required.

“Can you see your breath? If not – No heating required.

“Has Aslan marched an army through the living room to defeat the White Witch and end winter? If not – No heating required.”


Mike Oxlong

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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