Gang of pigeons arrested on suspicion of mugging lady outside Greggs in Altrincham

AN image to depict city pigeons

Police have been called to Greggs in Altrincham, where a lady has been subjected to a petrifying ordeal at the hand’s of a gang of pigeons.

Police were called to the scene at around 1:26pm following reports of a serious incident outside Greggs. Shoppers were left in state of shock when the group of pigeons mercilessly attacked the lady in broad daylight.

Pigeons turned violent quickly

An eyewitness who didn’t want to be named said, “It started off with their usual cocky routine, you know glaring at you and cocking their heads towards you aggressively. The lady, who was quite visibly petrified of them, chucked them a bit of her sausage roll in order to get them to back off, it was then that the shit really hit the fan. The moment the ring leader had a bite and realised it was a vegan sausage roll he went completely off his head and launched a full scale attack of the woman with all his minions jumping in too. By the time she’d shook them off they had her purse, half her jewellery and a breakfast bar she’d been saving for the afternoon munchies”.

He went on to condemn local police for their lack of activity surrounding the pigeon crisis, “It’s hardly surprising they have no fear anymore, police have been letting them get away with murder for years around here. They basically run the fucking streets these days.”

Altrincham police have taken 6 pigeons into custody for further questioning. More news as we have it.

Taylor Tompkinson

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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