Man who claimed he was dying of hangover this morning still alive and back on the piss

An image to depict a hangover

A man who caused mass hysteria when he claimed he was dying of a hangover this morning has been found safe and sound totally off his cake again this afternoon.

Blagdum Gudenpropa sent his friends and family into a wild state of panic this morning when he released a pity filled – ‘I’m dying and never drinking again’ – Facebook update.

However, we can sensationally reveal he has been found alive and well, absolutely off his nut – confidently declaring to anyone who will listen how hardcore he is.

Hangover not as life threatening as first thought

Several pubs in the Timperley and Altricham area have sent messages to his family to ease their worry, after he stopped being such a soft-arse pussy and got back on it.

He was first spotted entering The Pelican Inn, before speaking to a customer who had been waiting for his pint since 2014 and making the sensible decision to head to the Navigation Hotel. He is not expected to return home until last orders have been served.

Experts have warned of more false claims tomorrow as the silly fucker attempts to navigate another monumental hangover on Monday.

Taylor Tompkinson

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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