Passive boredom cases treble following rise of veganism, according to NHS stats

An image to depict passive boredom

Passive boredom cases have trebled following the rise of veganism according to NHS statistics released today.

Shocking NHS statistics released this morning have confirmed a massive increase in passive boredom, following the recent rise in veganism.

With 10-in-10 vegans feeling compelled to tell you the benefits of veganism without being asked, people are losing the will to live with crippling passive boredom related ailments ruining their lives.

NHS unprepared for extra strain

With the flood of vegans released upon the nation annually through cult practices such as Veganuary, veganism is on the rise, and the NHS is starting to buckle under the pressure of the added strain that vegan related passive boredom has created.

A nurse from Trafford General, who didn’t want to be named ,said, “It’s borderline epidemic status. Something is going to have to be done to help raise awareness of how boring vegans are. We must educate vegans better by helping them to understand that nobody gives a shite about what they’re eating, or what the added health or moral benefits have done to improve their life. Just pack it the fuck in guys. Or come and do a shift in my shoes and see what we are dealing with”.

Taylor Tompkinson

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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