Purple Aki to enter Love Island in biggest twist yet

An image to depict Purple Aki

Legendary muscle feeler, Akinwale Oluwafolajimi Oluwatope Arobieke, or Purple Aki as he is more commonly known, is to be thrown – bag for life – first onto Love Island.

In an attempt to conquer mount dull, Love Island producers have taken the decision to throw in world famous pest of the physically fit male, Purple Aki.

Feel for you baby

With so many arms to choose from, you could be forgiven for thinking the notorious horny one will be off his bicep the minute he gets in there.

However he insists he wants the public to see a different side to the sexual nuisance we have come to know.

“I swear to almighty God and the Virgin Muscle Mary, I will show the loyalty I show to my bag for life for the right guy. That shit’s been with me for years. Anyone who knows me knows my bag for life is my world. Strong, sturdy and easy to wipe clean – everything I’m looking for in a man”.

Taylor Tompkinson

Trafford Express is for entertainment purposes only, and the drivel contained within it should not be considered factual whatsoever. If anything published on Trafford Express has caused you offence, please rest assured we are not even the slightest bit bothered. Anybody taking this nonsense seriously should seek urgent medical assistance to have their head removed from their arse.

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