Tinder servers crash under the strain of unwanted Christmas partners

The Tinder servers powering the famous booty call service have gone into meltdown following an influx of newly single people now Christmas Day is over and done with.

A staggering report found 9 in 10 new relationships in December are made with Christmas in mind, fuelling a post Christmas Day cull when the New Year New Me delusions start to kick in.

And, with a massive influx of cock and Laughing Danny pics doing the rounds in such a short space of time, the horny buggers have managed to bring down the whole thing.

A country of wankers

When we approached Tinder for comment they confirmed, “So far it doesn’t appear that any meaningful relationships will be born from the Christmas cull, at present it is mainly people looking for photos to put in their wank bank. The huge increase in wankers is unprecedented even for this time of year, we are working around the clock to get the app fully operational and apologise for any inconvenience”.

New Year’s Eve respite for engineers but more woe for NHS staff

With festivities still set to run for another few days New Year’s Eve has come as a welcome break for Tinder engineers as people leave the house to take part in the archaic practice of meeting face-to-face.

However it is no consolation for overstretched NHS workers who expect to revert back to everyday alcohol fuelled fuck ups after the recent influx of wrist related injuries.

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