You’re never more than 2ft away from a tw*t in the Trafford Centre, confirm scientists

An image to depict the Trafford Centre twat

A respected Altrincham scientist has revealed a horrifying new study which proves you are never more than 2 feet away from a total twat in the Trafford Centre, confirming many people’s long time suspicions.

The Trafford Centre has long been known as the cunt farm of the North, and cutting new evidence has proved the theory that you’re never more than 2 feet away from a complete and utter annoying twat bag when frequenting the famous mall.

Study finds lack of direction epidemic

The study revealed that one of the biggest issues with a typical Trafford Centre twat is direction and spacial awareness.

Altrincham scientist, Moovouta Meway, said, “Trafford Centre twats have an insatiable thirst to stop dead in front of you for no reason at all, whilst gathering around outside shop doorways and blocking anyone else from entering without barging through in a huff is commonplace. You should also be sure to keep a safe distance away from them as they suffer from having a complete lack of direction control, veering sharply to either side with no prior warning whatsoever”.

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